Apparently they can't replace anyone because it upsets the rest of the poor darlings in the side - and upsets the team chemistry.
Collingwood can't be dropped again because he's fantastic in the changing room and is a good man to have around, so he's required to play himself back into form in test matches rather than for his county.
It must be a real laugh in the changing room - a veritable cauldron of happy smiling faces, witty banter and top notch jokes.
Vaughan thinks it's 'only a matter of time' before he starts scoring runs again - although we aren't told what specific timeframe he's working to.
A couple of weeks ago Ambrose was considered good enough to bat six. Now he's only good enough to bat at eight.
Broad is 'rested', but then sent off to play for Nottinghamshire.
Sidebottom still doesn't look fit - though he's healthy enough to call Monty out on his fielding... it's about time someone did.
All a bit of a mess really.