Sunday, July 08, 2007

Workers Playtime

- Alright Jimmy, you old tart, it’s Tony!

- Hi mate – how did it go on Friday?

- Fantastic! We all went out on the lash ‘big stylee’ at lunchtime – must have had about seven pints each down at the Cheshire Cheese – we took Bob from Charterhouse Insurance with us so we could claim it all on expenses, even though we don’t do any work with them at all. He’s a right knobend!

- Nice one!

- By four o’clock there was no point going back to the office, so we all went straight down to the Oval for the 20/20. Stevie K had got a whole load of tickets through a tout he knows in Aldgate. Only 20 quid each, and because Bob was with us, it all gets put down as ‘entertainment’

- Superb! Who were Surrey playing?

- No idea. Bar was open when we went in, so we loaded up – they’ve got this shitty rule that you can only have four pints per person, so we ordered THIRTY TWO for the eight of us… you should have seen their faces!

- Awesome!

- Once we got to our seats the place was fucking packed – loads of other city boys, and some family groups with kids and stuff. Also, loads of fantastic totty.

- Nice!

Mickey Evans did his usual stuff – became a right comedian. Everytime someone walked in front of us, he yelled ‘Siddown’ really loud – fucking hilarious… every time – wonderful – we pissed ourselves laughing!

- Good stuff!

- Couple of tossers in front of us got a bit shirty, but we told them to take a hike, then some old codger complained about the swearing, so Big Kev told him to “fuck off Grandad” – fucking great!

- Amazing!

- Then Mickey starting standing up and dropping his strides and flashing some birds behind us, shouting out “I ate all the pies”

- Great!

- At half-time we got more beers in – then Mickey just went mental, shouting and giving it large at everyone around us, it was a real laugh! The old codger and his missus had another go, said his grandchildren were getting upset – but why do you bring young kids to cricket for fucks sake?

- Excellent!

- Towards the end it got a bit lairy – some geezer lobbed a beer over Mickey who got the RIGHT hump and threw one back, then it all got a bit tasty – few fists went in, Mickey went over the back of the seats to try to get to this bloke who’d showered him.

- Really?

- Yeah – some stewards came up and tried to cart Mickey off – people behind were cheering so Mickey gave them an earful and a few V signs, then Dibble stuck their nose in and Mickey got carted out.

- Bad news. Who won the game?

- No idea. But we all said we’d make a point of doing it again next year. Cricket after work is fantastic, especially on a Friday when you can really pile it on! We’ll have a word with the Marketing people and sort out three of four games where we can take a real crowd down there - right laugh!

- Good news!

- Anyway – game was almost over then, so by the time we got out, Mickey had been let out and we all piled in a couple of cabs – few more beers in the West End then off to Spearmint Rhino!

- Nice!

- All on expenses of course!

3 comments:

Tim said...

Great stuff Mark.

I am attempting to pick the 'Greatest Test XI' (from those who made their debuts in 1908 or later) and it would be great to get your imput (http://third-umpire.blogspot.com/search/label/Greatest%20Test%20XI)

dannyp said...

apologies to those who don't know mark, but you are definitely turning in to your father!!

Mark said...

Better that than my mother Danny...